This is how I feel when I drink even an apparently minimal amount of wine (2 glasses tonight) . Willful lack of practice has beset me as being the lightest of weights. Not much to brag about, but my wallet sure ain’t complainin’! (Because it is a wallet and does not have the facilities required to do so).
Today I bit into an omelette sandwich (something that I invented unless you can prove otherwise) and what can only be described as sweet omelette juices erupted out of an eggless corner and onto the floor of the dining hall. I don’t think there were any witnesses, which gives me a mixed reaction. On the one hand, accidentally spurting any kind of food can be embarrassing, but on the more important hand, I had nobody to exchange shocked glances with. I mean, I’m no olympic athlete, but if they start, out of sheer desperation, opening coliseums solely for omelette-juice launching, I think I could be a real natural. That would also be a really great way of ensuring that anybody remotely attracted to me would “think again” and leave the premises.
That’s all for now. Keep it steady, cadets.